#12 Queer doesn’t mean you’re sex-obsessed. The term queer is great because there is no mainstream stereotype for being queer. We all assume that homosexual men are hair stylists and sassy, which isn’t the case. If you’re homosexual, there seems to be a stereotype that runs strong within the straight community. However, if you don’t identify as either, what are you supposed to do? Apps like OKcupid, Wing Ma’am, and Her didn’t forget those who identify as queer. Many dating sites aren’t queer-friendly because most make you identify with a gender and sexual orientation, which I understand from a logistical perspective. You need to teach those who don’t understand. This is just something you’ll have to plow through and be patient with. However, there will be many people who don’t understand what being queer is and may be uncomfortable with it. Now, I’m not saying as a queer person, you’re going to struggle finding a partner. #9 Is dating difficult? Like anything out of the social norm, it causes difficulty. These fetishes are happening in a variety of relationships, regardless of sexual orientation. Which I’m not saying doesn’t happen in queer relationships, but they are not based on sexual deviance. When some people hear the word “queer,” they think about strap-ons, BDSM, and other fetishes. #8 People associate queerness with sexual deviance. It goes much deeper than that by challenging definitions and forcing change and discussion. It’s not just about not wanting to be labeled with a sexual orientation. Because it’s about gender fluidness, you’re not focused on the gender of your partner. Just because you label yourself as queer, it doesn’t mean you are now subjected to dating a specific group of people. You may feel that you’re more of a mix between the two genders, thus, you don’t need to label yourself either one because you aren’t either/or.
#5 Wait, what’s gender fluidness? Okay, so gender fluidness means you don’t identify with either gender. Of course, that pronoun can change over time: he/she/it, whatever you want.
Meaning, you aren’t given a chosen pronoun, but rather you choose what pronoun suits you. #4 What about the pronoun? If you’re genderqueer, it’s more focused on gender fluidness. Which is perfectly fine… you don’t have to label yourself anything if you don’t want to. Because it’s still seen as a derogatory term, many people who are actually queer still don’t feel comfortable identifying themselves as such. #3 You can be queer without calling yourself queer. However, those who are queer and the rest of the LGBTQ community are using it in a positive way and trying to change the connotation around the definition of queer. I mean, you can still hear the word “queer” being used in a disrespectful manner. #2 Is it a derogatory term? Well, Google says so. It’s a term that can be used to identify individuals who identify themselves outside of the mainstream sexual norms. Essentially, queer is a term that’s actually more of an umbrella as opposed to something specific. #1 What is queer? Okay, this isn’t the easiest task to come up with a definition of queer. It’s not as complicated as you think it is. I don’t blame you… there’s a lot packed into that single word. Queer: Men and women who don’t identify to mainstream labels.Įven though I just gave you the definition of queer, you still may be a little confused on what being queer actually is. Transgender: Women and men whose genders do not fit the one they were given at birth. Gay: Men who partner with other men, or women who partner with other women.īisexual: Women and men who partner with the same or opposite sex. Lesbian: Women who partner with other women. However, let me remind you what they all mean. I mean, you probably know what the terms gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender are. If you’re not in the community, you may have a hard time understanding what each abbreviation really means. The LGBTQ is a community that not only consists of these groups, but its members also support each other. If you thought there’s only a gay community, you’re wrong. You may know what LGBTQ means, if you don’t, it stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer.